She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
