sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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