TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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