I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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