the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
one might say we're banned from that church
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
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