if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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