For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
