one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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