Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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