I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
