I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
