You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
