gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
