I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
