hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
