using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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