How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
