went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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