My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
