you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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