At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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