I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
