strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
