happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
