he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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