Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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