Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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