"it" just moved
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
This house was built for laser tag.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize