Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
i out mim tonsoeep
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