Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
