So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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