I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
The struggles of a small town man whore
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
