just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
