I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
