There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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