Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
