Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
