going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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