So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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