she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
