Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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