Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
