no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
