The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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