I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
