I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
My vagina is officially offended.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
