i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
