We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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