For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Randomize
