If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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