we have officially lost it.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize