I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
