the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
