my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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