Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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