she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
