I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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