And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
