...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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