Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
it hurts more in the daytime
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
