Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
