a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
