I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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